How to Spot Stress and Anxiety in Children

Anxiety is an all-too-common problem faced by children today. As with adults, children respond differently to stress depending on their age, individual personalities and coping skills. When it comes to anxiety in children, younger grade-schoolers may not be able to fully explain their feelings, whereas older kids may be able to say exactly what’s bothering them and why (though that’s no guarantee that they’ll share that information with Mom or Dad).

In most cases, fear and anxiety and stress in children change or disappear with age. For instance, a kindergartener who experiences separation anxiety may become a social butterfly who bounds into school in the later grades. A second-grader who is afraid of the dark or of monsters may grow into a kid who loves ghost stories.

Once parents determine whether what their child is experiencing is something temporary or a more deeply-rooted anxiety disorder, they can then find ways to help their child manage stress and anxiety.

Signs of Anxiety in Children

Changes in behavior or temperament are common flags that may indicate your child may be experiencing stress and anxious feelings. Some common signs include:

Complaints of stomach aches or headaches
Sleep problems or difficulty concentrating
Behavioral changes, such as moodiness, a short temper, or clinginess
Development of a nervous habit, such as nail biting
Refusal to go to school or getting into trouble at school

Common Causes of Childhood Stress

The source of anxiety and stress in children can be something external, such as a problem at school, changes in the family, or a conflict with a friend. Anxious feelings can also be caused by a child's internal feelings and pressures, such as wanting to do well in school or fit in with peers. Some common causes of stress in children include:

Big changes in the family. Major life changes that can lead to stress in children include divorce, a death in the family, moving, or even the birth of a new sibling. These seismic shifts can rock your grade-schooler’s world and turn it upside down. Major life changes can shake your child’s sense of security, and make her feel confused and anxious. For example, a new sibling can make a child feel threatened and jealous. A death in the family, particularly of a grandparent or someone else close to the child, can create confusion and grief, as well as anxiety and stress.

Overly-packed schedules. If your child is constantly running from one activity to another, he may feel stressed, especially if he’s the kind of kid who needs some quiet downtime to himself every once in a while.
Self-inflicted pressure. Many children can experience anxiety about wanting to do well in school. They may want to fit in with other kids and be liked. Self-generated pressure is particularly common in children who are afraid of making mistakes or not being good at something.

Stress caused by something at school. Bullies or cliques can become an issue once kids enter grade school. Even if a child isn’t being bullied, the pressure to fit in and be popular can be stressful and lead to stress in children. For younger grade-schoolers, separation anxiety can be a common problem.
A terrible news event. News headlines and television news images about natural disasters, terrorism, and violence can be upsetting and can often cause stress in children. When kids see and hear about terrible news events, they may worry that something bad might happen to them or to someone they love.

A scary movie or a book. Fictional stories can also cause distress or anxiety in children. Children are commonly affected by frightening, violent, or upsetting scenes from a movie or passages in a book. While some kids might be more sensitive to some media content than others – what's scary or upsetting for one child might have no affect on another – it's a good idea to know what might upset your child, limit violent media content, and stick to age-appropriate movies, books, video games, and other media.

By Katherine Lee

Left Brain vs Right Brain Understanding the Myth of Left Brain and Right Brain Dominance

Have you ever heard people say that they tend to be more of a right-brain or left-brain thinker? From books to television programs, you've probably heard the phrase mentioned numerous times or perhaps you've even taken an online test to determine which type best describes you. Given the popularity of the idea of "right brained" and "left brained" thinkers, it might surprise you learn that this idea is just one of many  myths about the brain.

What Is Left Brain - Right Brain Theory?

According to the theory of left-brain or right-brain dominance, each side of the brain controls different types of thinking. Additionally, people are said to prefer one type of thinking over the other. For example, a person who is "left-brained" is often said to be more logical, analytical, and objective. A person who is "right-brained" is said to be more intuitive, thoughtful, and subjective.

In psychology, the theory is based on the lateralization of brain function. So does one side of the brain control specific functions? Are people either left-brained or right-brained? Like many popular psychology myths, this one grew out of observations of the human brain that were then dramatically distorted and exaggerated.

The right brain-left brain theory originated in the work of Roger W. Sperry, who was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1981. While studying the effects of epilepsy, Sperry discovered that cutting the corpus callosum (the structure that connects the two hemispheres of the brain) could reduce or eliminate seizures.

However, these patients also experienced other symptoms after the communication pathway between the two sides of the brain was cut. For example, many split-brain patients found themselves unable to name objects that were processed by the right side of the brain but were able to name objects that were processed by the left-side of the brain. Based on this information, Sperry suggested that language was controlled by the left-side of the brain.

Later research has shown that the brain is not nearly as dichotomous as once thought. For example, recent research has shown that abilities in subjects such as math are strongest when both halves of the brain work together. Today, neuroscientists know that the two sides of the brain collaborate to perform a broad variety of tasks and that the two hemispheres communicate through the corpus callosum.

"No matter how lateralized the brain can get, though, the two sides still work together," science writer Carl Zimmer explained in an article for Discover magazine. "The pop psychology notion of a left brain and a right brain doesn’t capture their intimate working relationship. The left hemisphere specializes in picking out the sounds that form words and working out the syntax of the phrase, for example, but it does not have a monopoly on language processing. The right hemisphere is more sensitive to the emotional features of language, tuning-in to the slow rhythms of speech that carry intonation and stress."

In one study by researchers at the University of Utah, more 1,000 participants had their brains analyzed in order to determine if they preferred using one side over the other. The study revealed that while activity was sometimes higher in certain critical regions, both sides of the brain were essentially equal in their activity on average.

“It’s absolutely true that some brain functions occur in one or the other side of the brain. Language tends to be on the left, attention more on the right. But people don’t tend to have a stronger left- or right-sided brain network. It seems to be determined more connection by connection," explained the study's lead author Dr. Jeff Anderson.

While the idea of right brain / left brain thinkers has been debunked, its popularity persists. So what exactly did this theory suggest?

The Right Brain

According to the left-brain, right-brain dominance theory, the right side of the brain is best at expressive and creative tasks. Some of the abilities popularly associated with the right side of the brain include:

Recognizing faces
Expressing emotions
Music
Reading emotions
Color
Images
Intuition
Creativity
The Left Brain

The left-side of the brain is considered to be adept at tasks that involve logic, language, and analytical thinking. The left-brain is described as being better at:

Language
Logic
Critical thinking
Numbers
Reasoning
So Why Do People Still Talk About Right-Brain, Left-Brain Theory?

Researchers have demonstrated that right-brain/left-brain theory is a myth, yet its popularity persists. Why? Unfortunately, many people are likely unaware that the theory is outdated.

Today, students might continue to learn about the theory as a point of historical interest - to understand how our ideas about how the brain works have evolved and changed over time as researchers have learned more about how the brain operates. 


While over-generalized and overstated by popular psychology and self-help texts, understanding your strengths and weaknesses in certain areas can help you develop better ways to learn and study. For example, students who have a difficult time following verbal instructions (often cited as a right-brain characteristic) might benefit from writing down directions and developing better organizational skills. The important thing to remember if you take one of the many left brain/right brain quizzes that you will likely encounter online is that they are entirely for fun and you shouldn't place much stock in your results.



By Kendra Cherry

Storage Solutions For Every Toy You Own

Organizing your toys is all about finding the right balance between keeping your children’s toys accessible for play, but still neat and out of the way when they need to be. Keeping the house neat creates a calm environment that any parent can appreciate. Whether you have an entire playroom dedicated to toys or you are short on space, these storage solutions will help keep your home organized and mess free.

1.  Bookshelves

A solid bookshelf is a must have in every home. In addition to providing a home to your children’s beloved books, bookshelves also give you space to organize a variety of toys. Line shelves with trucks and trains or use a bookshelf as a base to house bins and baskets to match your existing decor.

2. Hanging Shoe Holder

Whether you are storing Barbie dolls or Superheroes, shoe holders can keep toys separated and save on space. Shoe holders can be hung on the back side of a door, inside a closet, or even on the wall where small pieces can be collected. Often made of vinyl, these organizers make it easy to find your toys and can be wiped clean.

3. Canvas Bins

Canvas bins come in a variety of patterns and sizes. Larger bins, like this I Think I Can Mega Sorter from the Land of Nod, work great on the floor while smaller bins can be used to line shelves. As an added bonus, canvas is a durable and washable material that will long outlast your children’s toys.

4. Drawer Cart

When you have toys that are only played with on occasion, rolling drawer carts are the way to store them. Typically made with a clear plastic, you will be able to easily see what you are storing and move it to wherever your child is playing. These carts are great for storing arts and crafts or homework supplies. Bed, Bath, and Beyond has even taken the rolling drawer cart a step further with a funky colored, steel cart that is built to last.  5. Coffee Tables with Storage

When you are short on space, it makes sense to start getting creative with your furniture and finding pieces that can double as storage. Coffee tables with built in storage space are the perfect blend of practical and pretty. Toys will be accessible for the kids without being an eyesore.  

6. Plastic Storage Containers

Plastic storage containers come in every shape and size and can be used to store any type of toy you may have. Containers with lids can be purchased to fit in the closet, on shelves, or even under the bed. This is also the best way to store anything long term, like seasonal toys, as the airtight lid keeps out moisture.

7. Beds with Storage Drawers

Finding space for toys can feel like an impossible task when you are short on space. Much like a coffee table, a platform or trundle bed is a great way to make your furniture pull double duty. Built in storage drawers used for toy storage keeps the clutter off the bedroom floor (and out of the rest of your house!)  

8. Toy Chest

Tried and true, toy chests are still a popular option for storing your children’s toys. Nowadays, you can often find these boxes in heavy duty plastic or solid wood. Large and spacious, they remain the ultimate catchall for every toy.

By Kate Mattiace

Parental Involvement in Childhood Obesity and Control

Within families, there’s often a monkey-see-monkey-do dynamic when it comes to many behaviors—and eating and exercise habits are no exceptions. The reality is, kids tend to emulate their parents’ eating and exercise habits. This means if parents consume an unhealthy diet, the kids have a good chance of following in their footsteps. Fortunately, the flip side is true as well—if parents consume healthy meals and snacks, their kids are likely to follow suit. In other words, parents have the power to shape their children’s eating and exercise habits in ways that can prevent them from becoming overweight or improve their weight status if they’re already overweight.

These influences start early. In a recent study, researchers from the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine found that parents’ nutrition and physical activity patterns significantly influence their preschoolers’ consumption of fruits and vegetables, junk food, and their amount of physical activity or sedentary behavior. These patterns can add up and have a cumulative effect on a child’s weight. Here’s a look at the different ways these influences play out:

Parenting Style

It’s not just what family members eat and how much they move that influence a child’s weight gain pattern. Parenting style also plays a role. Research indicates, for example, that when parents exert excessive control over what, when, and how much their children eat, the kids may be at higher risk of becoming overweight. After reviewing the medical literature on parents’ child-feeding behaviors and their children’s weight, researchers in the U.K. concluded that “parents may inadvertently promote excess weight gain in childhood by using inappropriate child-feeding” tactics such as restricting children’s eating or pressuring them to eat.

For one thing, research suggests that when overweight parents who have trouble controlling their own food intake adopt controlling ways of feeding their child, the approach often backfires: Rather than reducing their son’s or daughter’s risk of becoming overweight, this controlling feeding style may promote problematic eating habits in the child, ones that can interact with a genetic predisposition to obesity, leading to weight gain. The influence is especially powerful with mothers. Research from the Obesity Prevention Program at Harvard Medical School found that kids whose mothers engaged in restrictive feeding when they were one year old were more likely to have a higher body mass index (BMI) at age three than those whose mothers didn’t have restrictive feeding styles.

Feeding Practices

When parents prepare healthy family meals—consisting of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, nuts and seeds, beans and legumes, low-fat dairy products and lean protein —and refuse to resort to being a short-order cook who caters to pint-size palates, kids end up benefiting. This way, everyone in the family consumes a balanced, healthy diet and kids learn to appreciate, if not actually prefer, healthier foods. In a review of 60 studies on the subject, researchers in the U.K. found that adolescents whose parents consume plenty of fruits and vegetables tend to consume more fruits and vegetables, too.

Another good strategy: Involve kids in food preparation. A recent study from Switzerland found that when children were involved in preparing a meal (chicken, pasta, salad, and cauliflower) with a parent, they ate 76 percent more salad and 24 percent more chicken than when the same meal was prepared solo by the parent. If you have the option of growing produce at home, this can have a positive effect on kids’ eating habits, too. A study involving 1,658 parents and their preschool-age children in Missouri found that preschoolers in households with more homegrown produce tended to have a greater preference for fruits and vegetables than their peers who didn’t have an abundance of homegrown produce.

Exercise Habits

It stands to reason that if parents are physically active, their kids will be, too—and research suggests this is true. In a study involving 1,124 12-year-old children and their parents, researchers in Sweden found that girls and boys who had two physically active parents were four times and nine times more likely, respectively, to be engaged in vigorous physical activity or sports than kids whose parents were inactive.

There’s a direct effect (due to parents’ modeling of physical activity) and an indirect effect (in the form of encouragement, support, and involvement). Moms and Dads may have different influences in these respects: In a study involving 1,278 children ages 10 to 11, researchers in Finland found that fathers’ modeling of physical activity had a direct effect on their kids’ physical activity, whereas mothers’ modeling and parental encouragement had more of an indirect effect—by boosting kids’ perceived competence and interest in being physically active.    

Putting the Pieces Together

Given the choice between modeling healthy eating and exercise habits and trying to control your child’s behavior, it’s better to opt for the former approach. In particular, a positive parental role model is more effective at improving a child’s diet and instilling higher levels of body satisfaction, according to research from the U.K. A positive parental role model can also inspire kids to get moving (and stay moving!). 

The best ways to achieve this is with an appropriate division of responsibility: Parents should choose what the family eats by serving healthy foods at every meal and snack, and children should be allowed to decide how much to eat at each occasion. Parents should exercise regularly and provide plenty of opportunities and encouragement for their kids to be physically active, then let kids discover their own love of movement. This approach gently sets the stage for better weight management and helps kids develop healthy eating and exercise habits for life.  

By David L. Katz, MD

Childhood Obesity Expert

The 4 Biggest Discipline Mistakes Parents Make Learn how to avoid these parenting blunders

Parenting is a tough job. There's no doubt about that. And learning how to discipline your child in a way that will be most effective in teaching him everything he needs to know before he turns 18, can seem like an impossible task. Here are some of the biggest discipline mistakes many parents make and learn what you can do about them.

1. Not Giving the Right Kind of Attention

When kids don’t get enough positive attention, behavioral problems often result. Positive attention reduces attention seeking behaviors such as whining, temper tantrums, and other purposely annoying behaviors. When kids don’t get attention for positive behaviors, such as playing quietly, sitting at the dinner table, and taking turns, they’ll often act out just to get any kind of attention.

Sometimes parents inadvertently encourage misbehavior by giving kids negative attention. Any type of attention, including negative attention, gives children positive reinforcement. Avoid power struggles because the more you argue or pay attention to a behavior, the worse it will get. It’s okay to ignore mild misbehavior

2. Only Looking at the Short-Term
Another big parenting mistake can be only focusing on the short-term. Good discipline techniques should also focus on the long-term. It is important to remember that your child will need certain skills in order to become a healthy, responsible adult. Therefore, the most effective discipline strategies focus on teaching kids these skills.



Although giving in may make things easier today, it will make behavior problems worse in the long-term. For example, some parents give in to kids when their kids are whining in an attempt to get the child to stop. However, giving in teaches children that whining and complaining are good ways to get their needs met.

Unfortunately, this can be detrimental to a child. A child who learns that whining gets him what he wants, is likely to struggle with peer relationships or authority figures.

Children need to learn that there are negative consequences for their behaviors. When parents stick to limits and provide fair, consistent, authoritative discipline strategies, children will learn the skills they need.

3. Not Creating Written Rules
When there are not clear rules, it can be quite confusing to kids to know what is expected from them. Sometimes the problem is that each parent has a different rule or interpretation of the rule. This leads to children viewing one parent as the “good guy” and the other parent as the “bad guy.”

Other times, the problem is that a parent is not consistent. Stress from other responsibilities such as work, can make a parent feel too exhausted to follow through with limits and consequences. An overworked single mother may feel too tired to make her child do his homework some nights. This can be confusing to him and may cause him to argue more on the nights she tries to get him to complete his homework, causing her to feel it just isn’t worth the trouble.

Establishing a written list of household rules helps children have more structure. When kids are clear what the limits and consequences are, they can make more informed decisions. It is important that kids also have assigned chores and clear rules about money to teach them responsibility.

4. Not Having a Discipline Plan
When it comes to managing behavioral issues it is better to be proactive rather than reactive. Take some time to develop a comprehensive behavior plan to help manage behavioral issues. When parents attack problems with a clear plan, it is much easier to track the child’s progress and make changes when necessary.

Without a clear plan, parents sometimes struggle to deal with behaviors and the result is chaos. For example if a child begins hitting others, a parent may not know how to deal with the child’s aggression. As a result, the parent may sometimes use time out but at other times may spank the child out of exasperation. This inconsistency may be confusing to the child and may not stop the behavior.

Parents need to develop a behavior management plan whenever behavioral issues arise with their children. This can increase consistency and ensure that kids are receiving clear messages about their behaviors. It can also help parents work together with other caregivers to make sure that all the adults are responding in a similar manner.

By Amy Morin

Discipline - Is it Okay to Discipline Another Parent's Child? Disciplining Out-of-Control Kids From Unsafe, Unruly Behavior Can Be Complex

Any parent has most likely encountered an out-of-control youngster at a party or playgroup who is ruining the day for everyone. You know, the one who is kicking or hitting other kids, screaming at the top of his lungs, or literally tearing the place up? If it's your kid, you know what you need to do. But what happens when it is someone else's kid who needs disciplining...and the parent is either obvious, in denial, or worst of all, not even around? When should you step in and discipline another person's child, and what should you do?

Disciplining another person's child can make even the most seasoned parent cringe and retreat. On one hand, parents of toddlers and preschool-aged children often have their hands full with making sure their own child acts appropriately--no small feat for anyone. But if you're the one hosting a birthday party or playgroup social, then you're in charge of ALL aspects--including behavior. Like it or not, if a tot's actions are ruining the day or possibly causing harm to others and the child's parent isn't handling the situation, you're going to have to step up and take action.

Too often parents wait as long as possible before disciplinary action is taken in the hopes that the child settles down or the kid's parent intervenes. But waiting and hoping can actually allow the bad behavior to spiral even more out-of-control. Instead, do what most early educators recommend, and take swift and calm action as soon as a problem develops. If the child's parents or caregiver is present, ask them to take action. If they hesitate or the child starts up again, be prepared to step in. Consider removing the child from the situation and presenting him directly to the parent. Don't be surprised if tears or a tantrum results, but then again, that's not your problem. YOu have the safety and well-being of all kids to consider.

If the parent is not present, the situation becomes trickier. Friendships have been ruined and playgroups disbanded over hurt feelings and strong disagreements over the handling of behavioral situations. Families may have different expectations and rules surrounding acceptable behavior, and discipling a child can be sometimes be taken "personally" or even as criticism of how they are raising their child. However, not taking action could land you in hot water with the other parents.

With that said, the easiest (and safest) way to discipline another person's child is by either re-engaging them in a different activity or physically removing them from the situation and telling them why they can't continue to do what they were doing. Much of this depends on the action and age of the child. Avoiding labeling your disciplinary choice (i.e. a "timeout") to lessen chances of the other parents being offended. Instead, just say something like, "Jensen, I need you to come sit over here for a minute." Once removed from the situation, you can help the child calm down and then explain how you would like him to behave for the rest of the activity.

What behavior warrants immediate intervention?
Balancing between over-zealously stepping in and pretending the bad behavior isn't occurring can be a fine line. But these behaviors need to be stopped at once (by the parent, hopefully, but by any adult):

    Aggressive behavior that is hurting (or could hurt) another child, such as hitting, punching, biting, kicking, or using a toy as a weapon like a bat or any hard object


    Earth-shattering screeching or shrill screaming or such loud noises that it disrupts and distracts everyone in the room (and especially warranted in a public place such as a restaurant)


    Destructive behavior such as tearing things up, knocking things down, or ruining something


    Alarming behaviors such as hurting a family pet or wheeling a baby around who is in a stroller


    If you are the organizer (i.e. it is your child's birthday party), you should stop any behavior that you won't allow your own children to do.

Minimizing bad behaviors and what to do if they occur
What steps can you take to help minimize the opportunity for badly-behaving children to ruin a social event or function? Here are steps to take before the party gets started, and possible disciplinary approaches to consider ahead of time when you are calm and not stressed out!

    Use age-appropriate language to set simple rules with toddlers before activities begin. Child care providers and early educators alike that having kids calmly start an event with a "circle time" or something similar while you cheerily talk about the events at hand and expectations can at least let youngsters know they are expected to behave. If at all possible, enlist the help of other parents to assist, hear and observe so that they too know your expectations. Don't be stern or lecturing; you know how to do it in a positive and upbeat fashion, all the while talk about the fun things that are coming.


    Depending on the age of the children, consider discussing that these activities require kids to keep their hands to themselves and to stay seated, with a consequence of being removed from the activity if they can't manage themselves. Again, this is just as much for the parents as it is for the kids.


    If the activity is a playgroup, parents should set rules and agree to appropriate actions if a child gets out-of-control. (By the way, this can happen occasionally to the very best-behaved kids...including yours!) Parents should either supervise their own kid or have a cell phone and be available to retrieve their youngster if problems arise.


    If hosting a party, encourage parents to stay. If they do plan to leave, be sure to get their cell phone number before they depart as a "just in case" measure. If you have too many kids to adequately supervise and manage without a lot of help, the truth is, you've probably invited too many kids for the age group at hand anyway. While it's too late if you've already sent the invites, remember that a smaller group will most likely be more fun and memorable overall.


    Keep your cool when a child misbehaves. Remember that kids will be kids, and that doesn't always include the very best of behaviors. Besides, next time it could be YOUR kid behaving badly.


....... From Robin McClure

Child health and safety: What you should know about silent concussions

Your child takes a hard fall and bumps his head on a stair banister, gets clobbered by a soccer ball, or is bopped in the head by another tot at daycare. He doesn't lose consciousness, and seems okay afterward. Is he?

Traditional advice used to be that a child would be considered okay if there was no loss of consciousness and she seemed fine afterward. In those cases, providers or parents typically rendered some good ol' TLC and perhaps an ice pack until a child felt good enough to continue his day. What doctors are saying today, however, is that losing consciousness should not be considered the criteria to determine whether your child might have a concussion or swelling.

Recent studies have indicated that other, less signs that can accompany a serious concussion or even a life-threatening condition resulting from swelling of the brain. And it doesn't require broken skin or a massive impact point to potentially cause a serious or even fatal accident.

Make sure that not only you as a parent, but your child's caregiver, coach, teacher, or adult in charge are aware of signs of possible silent concussions and for you to be alerted immediately if any symptoms described below occur after an injury to the head--no matter how seemingly minor.

Call the doctor if your child has hurt her head and has ANY of the following symptoms:

    headache--even a mild one

    sense of fogginess

    dizziness

    blurry or double vision

    confusion

Don't delay in getting to the doctor, and explain to the receptionist that your child suffered trauma or injury during play or sports to the head. Most likely your child will check out to be just fine, but this is one injury that warrants prompt attention just to be sure.

.... Robin McClure