Child Behavior - Why is Your Baby Crying and How Can You Stop It?

Of course your baby, or the one you are caring for, cries occasionally. But beyond the obvious reasons of hunger or a need to burp, why is she crying and what can you to get a crying baby to stop? Here are clues to deciphering a baby's cries and possible solutions.

Other reasons why your baby is crying 

1. "I'm hot!" New parents, doting grandparents or overzealous babysitters sometimes overdress a baby for the home or a stroll outdoors. Why it's obvious you don't want your baby to get chilled, the most common mistake in dressing an infant is to over-do it. It's not necessary to have on long sleeves and pants, socks, shoes, hat and then blanket wrap indoors unless it is truly cold inside. The same goes for outside. The best way to avoid over-heating a baby is to dress him in layers. Gauge his body temperature by feeling his tummy or back (cheeks or feet may always seem cool so don't use those as indicators) and then add or deduct clothes appropriately.



2. "I'm overstimulated!" Too much commotion, movement, lights or sounds can totally stress out a young baby to the point of having an "infant meltdown." While you should involve a baby in everyday routines and schedules, watch her coping skills in overly-hectic situations, and if she seems to the breaking point, help her to calm down by taking her to a quiet room with less distractions. Well-meaning parents often overstimulate their youngster with too many selections of toys or educational activities. You can avoid this by introducing one activity or toy at a time, and then watching her reaction.



3. "I'm uncomfortable." Car seats, strollers, baby carriers and more may be designed for babies but they are necessarily comfortable. Your baby may tire in being in a certain position, have clothes bunched up their back, or be situated in too-tight of safety straps. Babies may also dislike clothing labels or certain clothing materials (some cute appliques or designs may irritate delicate skin). You can help avoid this by checking clothes and straps at the start, and then pick your baby up and let him stretch out on occasion.



4. "I feel ignored!" Babies crave attention, and most are social creatures. As babies become aware that they are a separate small human being, they may become more insistent in being around their beloved caregivers. Since they can't call out for mom or dad or even nana by name, all they can do is cry. You can help by showing your baby that out of sight doesn't mean you're away, and that you are within earshot. Offer plenty of love and reassurance during this adjustment period, and consider placing baby during the daytime where he can observe your actions and just have peace of mind that you are nearby.



5. "I'm bored!" As your baby grows, she will quickly become more curious about her world and want to experience as many things as possible. That's why so many babies are content just to be carried around from room to room while a caregiver does different activities. But since carrying your child everywhere isn't always an option (nor should it be), keep in mind that babies have short attention spans and may want new stimulation and things to see frequently. So, you might avoid howls by rotating a baby's placement in the house from a bouncer to a swing or in a front-pack with you and so on.



6. "I'm exhausted!" Babies need sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. So, if you're a parent or caregiver on the go and traipsing a wee one with you on all sorts of errands, chances are that he will begin to let you know about it. Babies can sleep under many environments, but sometimes a quiet sleep in their own bed does wonders for their mood!



7. "I'm colicky!"If your baby continues to whail after being checked out for all the above possible reasons (including hunger and burping), it's possible that your baby may have the dreaded colic. 

Better Parent-Child Communication

Communicating clearly with kids can be a challenge. As parents, we often find ourselves giving directions on the go, and many times, we find ourselves trying to talk to our kids while they're doing something else. Does this ever happen to you? 

Following these steps consistently will enhance communication with your child and enable him/her to follow through on the directions you give.

1. Make Eye Contact

When possible, meet your child at eye-level when you're giving directions. This ensures that your child knows you are speaking with him, and dramatically increases his ability to listen. In addition, try to keep your expression open, rather than tense or accusatory.

2. Speak in a Clear, Firm Voice

This lets your child know that you're serious about what you're asking. Be careful not to yell or use a harsh tone of voice, though, which your child is likely to tune out. Your tone should be just a little lower than your regular speaking voice, which lets your child know that you "mean business."

3. Repeat the Directions

Ask your child to repeat the directions back to you. This is a great tool for making sure your child knows what is expected. If he is unable to tell you what you had asked him to do, or if there were too many steps, take the time to go over again what you are asking. In addition, try to keep your instructions to no more than three steps. For example, "Get dressed, brush your teeth, and brush your hair." If you notice that your child consistently has trouble remembering routines, consider posting a chore chart or pictures of each step to help him stay focused.

......Jennifer Wolf

Find Your Style Of Parenting

Find Your Style Of Parenting

There are many ideas about how to rear children. Some parents adopt the ideas their own parents used. Others get advice from friends. Some read books about parenting. Others take classes offered in the community. No one has all the answers. However, psychologists and other social scientists now know what parenting practices are most effective and are more likely to lead to positive outcomes for children.

Ideas about child rearing can be grouped into three styles. These are different ways of deciding who is responsible for what in a family.

Authoritarian

Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.

Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.

Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.

Permissive

Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.

Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.

Democratic Or Authoritative

Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.

For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"

Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."

Which Is Your Style?

Maybe you are somewhere in between. Think about what you want your children to learn. Research on children's development shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self-esteem.

No parenting style will work unless you build a loving bond with your child.

These tips were reproduced from the U.S. Department of Education.

......... Vincent Iannelli, M.D.