Dads Struggle With Postpartum Depression Too

The stigma around postpartum depression for moms is lessening. We are talking about it more in the media, in doctor's offices and within mom groups. It is wonderful that more woman are seeking treatment, but are we leaving out dads? Modern day fathers play an integral part in raising children. With more fathers sharing duties raising children and spending more time at home, today's fathers are also struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety.

Paternal postnatal depression (PPND), or paternal perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PPMADs)  are forms of depression or another mood disorder such as anxiety. These disorders are similar to what some moms experience after a new baby arrives. As many as one in four new fathers in the United States may experience major depression four weeks after the birth of a child. Up to 50 percent of men report paternal postnatal depression when their partner is struggling with postpartum depression, and an estimated 18 percent of men experience postpartum anxiety that warrants formal diagnosis and treatment.

These numbers are quite shocking, but even more shocking is that most of these mental health issues do not get noticed, diagnosed or treated.

A recent study highlighted the negative effects that paternal postpartum depression and anxiety could have on parenting as children grow into toddlerhood. In the study researchers from the Northwestern University study followed 199 couples during their child's first six weeks of life and then came back to the couple again after 45 months. Individually, each parent filled out questionnaires evaluating their levels of depression and their child's feelings and behaviors. The study found that a dad with baby blues can have just as much effect on a child's behavior as a mom struggling with the same thing.

"The fact is that, given that there's often two parents in the home working with the child, both parents' depressive symptoms can have a very similar level of effect to the point that both need to be addressed," says Sheehan D. Fisher, a co-author of the study.

The sadness and lack of motivation associated with postpartum depression can result in a less engaged parent and now that dads are as involved as moms, it is important to focus on the needs of both parents.

"Typically, in our culture, fathers haven't been considered as integral in a child's care," Fisher says. "Now that there's been a transition for fathers being more involved, I think that we're just starting to see that we need to focus on both of the parents."

What may increase your chances of experiencing paternal perinatal mood and anxiety disorders:

A lack of good sleep
Changes in hormones
Personal history of depression
Poor relationship with spouse
Poor relationship with one or both parents
Relationship stress – with a partner or with in-laws
Excessive stress about becoming a parent or father
Nonstandard family (such as being unmarried or a stepfather)
Poor social functioning
A lack of support from others
Economic problems or limited resources
A sense of being excluded from the connection between the mother and baby
Symptoms of paternal perinatal mood and anxiety disorders:

You may be experiencing a perinatal mood and anxiety disorders if you are feeling anxious, empty, irritable and angry, or out of control following the birth of a child. Other symptoms men may feel include persistent worries about providing financially for your family, disinterest in parenting, self-loathing or withdrawal from family and friends. Sometimes depression in men shows up as physical symptoms, such sleep problems, sexual dysfunction, backache, frequent headaches or digestive disorders.

Treatment for paternal perinatal mood and anxiety disorders:

The first step to treatment is opening up to your partner and other loved ones. - simply admitting you are struggling is a huge step. Many men do not discuss these types of feeling and may have trouble starting the conversation so women should help their partners have these tough conversations. The next step is finding a qualified health care provider, like a doctor or therapist who can assess your symptoms and come up with a treatment plan that works for you. Some men will may benefit from individual psychotherapy or joining a support group with other men struggling with similar things. For others, medication may be necessary. Self-care is also very important for both parents during the postpartum period. Take some time for yourself - whether it is a night out with friends, a long walk or some time in the gym. These activities will be different for each dad, but it is important to remember the man you were before you had the baby and find enjoyment in the activities that made you happy before you became a dad.

By Jill Ceder

What Can I Do To Develop My Child's Growth Mindset

Develop a growth mindset yourself.  Read stories of people who worked hard to overcome significant odds and also intelligence.  Some classic examples are Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Steve Jobs.  Each of these people had been told during their early life that they lacked intelligence, yet they all became leaders and pioneers through hard work.

Totally nix out any idea that someone cannot learn something because of a natural trait.  I am sure you would never tell your daughter that "girls just aren't good at math."  But watch for subtle versions of that same fixed idea.  Your own beliefs and what you say are a strong influence on your child's attitudes and beliefs - even your teenagers are still strongly influenced by your parental ideas!

Teach your child to view mistakes as learning opportunities.  Let your child know that mistakes are part of the learning process.

When they do make a mistake, ask them what they would do differently next time.
Praise their efforts and actions, rather than defining or labeling your child.  Every child has good and bad moments.  Giving praise action and effort encourages them to continue trying, rather than just believing they are already smart or good.

Encourage your child to solve problems on their own. It can be tempting to step in and take over when your child is struggling.  Instead, acknowledge your child's frustration and ask them if they have any other ideas on how they can solve their problem.
While educators are focusing on developing a growth mindset in math, it is an attitude that can help in all parts of life.  People who have the most effective growth mindsets view all aspects of learning and intelligence as the product of hard work over time.  It is not just about math or science.


By Lisa Linnell-Olsen

How to Spot Stress and Anxiety in Children

Anxiety is an all-too-common problem faced by children today. As with adults, children respond differently to stress depending on their age, individual personalities and coping skills. When it comes to anxiety in children, younger grade-schoolers may not be able to fully explain their feelings, whereas older kids may be able to say exactly what’s bothering them and why (though that’s no guarantee that they’ll share that information with Mom or Dad).

In most cases, fear and anxiety and stress in children change or disappear with age. For instance, a kindergartener who experiences separation anxiety may become a social butterfly who bounds into school in the later grades. A second-grader who is afraid of the dark or of monsters may grow into a kid who loves ghost stories.

Once parents determine whether what their child is experiencing is something temporary or a more deeply-rooted anxiety disorder, they can then find ways to help their child manage stress and anxiety.

Signs of Anxiety in Children

Changes in behavior or temperament are common flags that may indicate your child may be experiencing stress and anxious feelings. Some common signs include:

Complaints of stomach aches or headaches
Sleep problems or difficulty concentrating
Behavioral changes, such as moodiness, a short temper, or clinginess
Development of a nervous habit, such as nail biting
Refusal to go to school or getting into trouble at school

Common Causes of Childhood Stress

The source of anxiety and stress in children can be something external, such as a problem at school, changes in the family, or a conflict with a friend. Anxious feelings can also be caused by a child's internal feelings and pressures, such as wanting to do well in school or fit in with peers. Some common causes of stress in children include:

Big changes in the family. Major life changes that can lead to stress in children include divorce, a death in the family, moving, or even the birth of a new sibling. These seismic shifts can rock your grade-schooler’s world and turn it upside down. Major life changes can shake your child’s sense of security, and make her feel confused and anxious. For example, a new sibling can make a child feel threatened and jealous. A death in the family, particularly of a grandparent or someone else close to the child, can create confusion and grief, as well as anxiety and stress.

Overly-packed schedules. If your child is constantly running from one activity to another, he may feel stressed, especially if he’s the kind of kid who needs some quiet downtime to himself every once in a while.
Self-inflicted pressure. Many children can experience anxiety about wanting to do well in school. They may want to fit in with other kids and be liked. Self-generated pressure is particularly common in children who are afraid of making mistakes or not being good at something.

Stress caused by something at school. Bullies or cliques can become an issue once kids enter grade school. Even if a child isn’t being bullied, the pressure to fit in and be popular can be stressful and lead to stress in children. For younger grade-schoolers, separation anxiety can be a common problem.
A terrible news event. News headlines and television news images about natural disasters, terrorism, and violence can be upsetting and can often cause stress in children. When kids see and hear about terrible news events, they may worry that something bad might happen to them or to someone they love.

A scary movie or a book. Fictional stories can also cause distress or anxiety in children. Children are commonly affected by frightening, violent, or upsetting scenes from a movie or passages in a book. While some kids might be more sensitive to some media content than others – what's scary or upsetting for one child might have no affect on another – it's a good idea to know what might upset your child, limit violent media content, and stick to age-appropriate movies, books, video games, and other media.

By Katherine Lee